21 Ways to be a good Democrat

[Mike Riddle]

21 Ways to be a good Democrat


1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on
demand.

2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and
governments create prosperity.

3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans
are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands
of Chinese and North Korean communists.

4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by
cyclical documented changes in the earth's climate and more affected
by soccer moms driving SUV's.

6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being
homosexual is natural.

7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of
federal funding.

8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th-
graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids
about sex.

9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony
activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.

10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than
actually doing something to earn it.

11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own
money to make "The Passion Of The Christ" for financial gain only.

12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain
parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports
certain parts of the Constitution.

13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too
high.

14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are
more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Gen. Robert
E. Lee, and Thomas Edison.

15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial
quotas and set-asides are not.

16. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and is a very
nice person.

17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked
anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in
charge.

18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in
jail, but a liar and a sex offender belonged in the White House.

19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag
queens, transvestites, and bestiality should be constitutionally
protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

20. You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the
Chinese government is somehow in the best interest to the United
States.

21. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right
wing conspiracy.

[jsw]

What you have to believe to believe the Swift Boat smears:

1. You have to believe the Navy was wrong about a bronze star, a silver
star, and two of three purple hearts.

2. You have to believe it's sheer coincidence that the Swift Boat
vets against Kerry have records of supporting and contributing to
Republicans.

3. You would have to believe that Lt. Col. James Zumwalt, who never
served with Kerry, is a better source of information than his father,
the late Admiral Zumwalt, who signed Kerry's silver star recommendation
and defended John Kerry in the midst of a close political campaign in
1996.

4. You have to believe George Elliott changed his mind and his memory
from what he said in 1969 and 1996 and in August of 2004

5. You have to believe Admiral Hyland, James Rassmann, David Alston, and
all the other crewmates of PCF-44 and PCF-94 are either liars,
amnesiacs, brainwashed victims or partisan hacks (even though several,
including Rassmann, are Republicans).

6. You have to believe Purple Hearts are awarded based on the severity of
wounds, thus disqualifying thousands if not millions of Purple Hearts that
have been given.

7. You have to believe that Kerry threw a grenade into a rice pile to
cause his own injuries, and everyone who saw and treated the wounds
mistook rice pellets for shrapnel.

8. You have to believe the Navy's after action reports and medal citations
are false.

9. You have to believe Jim Rassmann, a Special Forces officer, doesn't
know gunfire when it's being shot at him.

10. You have to believe that when John O'Neill debated John Kerry on the
Dick Cavett show in June 1971, he decided to keep Kerry's supposed
cowardice, lies, and undeserved medals out of the discussion, despite
hurling a range of other personal attacks and accusations far less
serious.

11. You have to believe Jerome Corsi, a man who when cornered, admitted
and apologized for writing vicious screeds about Catholics, the Pope,
Muslims, Jews and Gays on a virulent right wing website, is a man of
nonpartisan credibility.

12. You'd have to believe the entire military chain of command is suspect.

13. You have to believe that if the Swift-Vets are telling the truth,
then a whole lot of high-ranking people are lying.

[Thomas Fulery, Esq.]

Brothers Band Together Against Kerry
August 11, 2004

Democrats haven't been this upset about an American engaging in free
speech since Juanita Broaddrick opened her yap.

Two hundred fifty-four Swift Boat Veterans have signed a letter saying
John Kerry is not fit to be commander in chief, a point developed in
some detail in the blockbuster new book by John O'Neill, aptly titled
"Unfit for Command." At the 2003 reunion of Swift Boat Veterans, about
300 men showed up: 85 percent of them think Kerry is unfit to be
president. (On the bright side, Kerry was voted, in absentia, "Most
Likely to Run for President on His Phony War Record.") Fewer than 10
percent of all Swift Boat Veterans contacted refused to sign the letter.

Kerry was in Vietnam for only four months, which, coincidentally, is
less than the combined airtime he's spent talking about it. It takes a
special kind of person to get that many people to hate your guts in so
little time. The last time this many people hated one person after only
four months was when Margaret Cho had her own sitcom.

But our young Eddie Haskell managed to annoy other servicemen even
before he came home and called them war criminals. About 60 eyewitnesses
to Kerry's service are cited in the book, describing Kerry fleeing
comrades who were under attack, disregarding orders, putting others in
danger, sucking up to his commanders, creating phony film footage of his
exploits with a home-movie camera, and recommending himself for medals
and Purple Hearts in vainglorious reports he wrote himself. (This was
apparently before the concept of "fragging" put limits on such behavior.)

After three months of combat, Kerry had collected enough film footage
for his political campaigns, so he went home. He even shot three
different endings to the episode where he chases down a VC guy after
test audiences thought Kerry shooting a wounded teenager in the back was
too much of a "downer." After filming his last staged exploit, Kerry
reportedly told a buddy, "That's a wrap. See you at the convention in
about 35 years."

Kerry is demanding to be made president on the basis of spending four
months in Vietnam 35 years ago. And yet the men who know what he did
during those four months don't think he's fit to be dogcatcher. That
seems newsworthy to me, but I must be wrong since the media have
engineered a total blackout of the Swift Boat Veterans.

In May, the Swiftees held a spellbinding press conference in Washington,
D.C. In front of a photo being used by the Kerry campaign to tout
Kerry's war service, the officers stood up, one by one, pointed to their
own faces in the campaign photo, and announced that they believed Kerry
unfit for command. Only one officer in the photo supports Kerry for
president. Seventeen say he is not fit to be president.

The press covered it much as they covered Paula Jones' first press
conference.

With the media playing their usual role as Truth Commissar for the
now-dead Soviet Union, the Swiftees are having to purchase ad time in
order to be heard. No Tim Russert interviews, no "Today" show
appearances, no New York Times editorials or Vanity Fair hagiographies
for these heretics against the liberal religion. The only way Swift Boat
Veterans for Truth could get less attention would be to go on "Air
America" radio.

If the 254 veterans against Kerry got one-tenth as much media coverage
for calling Kerry a liar as Clown Joe Wilson did for calling Bush a
liar, the veterans wouldn't need to buy ad time to get their message
out. (Wilson, you'll recall, was a media darling for six or seven months
before being exposed as a fantasist by Senate investigators.)

With their commitment to free speech and a robust exchange of ideas
(i.e., "child pornography" and "sedition"), the Democratic National
Committee is threatening to sue TV stations that run the Swift Boat
Veterans' paid ads. Sue? Can you tell already that there are two lawyers
at the top of the Democratic ticket? These are the same people who
accuse John Ashcroft of shredding the Bill of Rights. WHY ISN'T THE
PRESS COVERING THIS??? Wait, now I remember. OK, never mind. (Contribute
to the Swift Boat Veterans here.)

The threat to sue is absurd, but will allow the very same TV stations
that are already censoring the Swiftees to have an excuse to censor even
purchased airtime.

Leave aside the fact that Kerry is a presidential candidate and –
judging by the ads being run against George Bush – I gather there's
nothing you can't say about a presidential candidate, including calling
him Hitler. After reading "Unfit for Command," I am pretty sure Kerry
doesn't want a neutral tribunal deciding who's telling the truth here.

The Swift Boat Veterans provide detailed accounts from dozens and dozens
of eyewitnesses to Kerry's Uriah Heep-like behavior – which "Unfit for
Command" contrasts with Kerry's boastful descriptions of the exact same
incidents.

By contrast, Kerry's supporters have their usual off-the-rack
denunciations of any witness against a Democrat. The veterans are:
liars, bigots, idiots, politically motivated, and I was never alone in a
hotel with Paula Jones.

Ron Brownstein, Los Angeles Times reporter and Bill Clinton's favorite
reporter, compared the Swift Boat Veterans' ad to a "snuff film." He
claimed the veterans have "strong Republican ties."

Apparently, before being permitted to engage in free speech against
Democrats in this country you have to: (1) prove that you are not a
Republican, (2) take a vow of poverty, and (3) purchase the right to
speak in a TV ad. On the basis of Clown Wilson, Michael Moore, George
Soros, Moveon.org, etc., etc., etc., I gather the requirements for
engaging in free speech against a Republican are somewhat less rigorous.
Hey! Maybe John Edwards is right: There really are two Americas!

O'Neill, the author of "Unfit for Command" and founder of Swift Boat
Veterans for Truth, can be heard on the Nixon tapes – unaware that he
was being taped – telling Nixon that he came from a family of Democrats
and voted for Hubert Humphrey in the prior election. Unlike Joe Wilson,
Anita Hill or Richard Clarke, Woodward and Bernstein, et al., O'Neill
has said he will take no royalties on his book but will donate all his
profits to the Navy. So I think even under liberals' rules, O'Neill is
allowed to have an opinion.

Before the book was released and O'Neill could appear to defend it,
liberals were on television denouncing the book. If memory serves, the
last book Democrats tried this hard to suppress was the Bible. The DNC
is threatening to sue to prevent the Swift Boat Veterans from buying ad
time. When Democrats are this terrified of a book, it's not because they
have a good answer. Howard Dean can accuse Ashcroft of book-burning all
he wants, but it's the Democrats who are doing everything in their power
to prevent you from reading "Unfit for Command." In bookstores beginning
this week.

[jsw]

http://www.ucomics.com/rallcom/2004/08/09/

[Mike Riddle]

Post by jsw
http://www.ucomics.com/rallcom/2004/08/09/

<G>

Rall can go over the top on occasion, as when he "dissed" Pat Tillman,
but he's also got an "acid" pen.

--
To reply remove the obvious and replace with mriddle

[jsw]

Post by Mike Riddle

Post by jsw
http://www.ucomics.com/rallcom/2004/08/09/

<G>
Rall can go over the top on occasion, as when he "dissed" Pat Tillman,
but he's also got an "acid" pen.

He can be quite far out, and surprising.

He also lampoons the WH on occasion. ;-)

Good day JSW