Republican Convention Schedule (As Modified)

[Thomas Fulery, Esq.]

As it should be!

Republican National Convention Schedule: Revised, August 2004

6:00 pm - Opening prayer

6:15 pm - Supplementary opening prayer

6:30 pm - Prayer in thanks of first two prayers

6:45 pm - New energy policy presented by Exxon

7:00 pm - Canonization of Reagan

7:15 pm - Additional prayers

7:30 pm - Opening remarks by Halliburton

8:00 pm - Prayer for the safety and well-being of Ken "Kenny-boy" Lay

8:15 pm - Additional remarks by Halliburton

8:30 pm - Stoning of the first homosexual

8:45 pm - New healthcare polices presented by HMO leader, Kaiser Permanente

9:00 pm - Invasion of Iran or South Korea (TBA)

9:15 pm - Halliburton contributes 1.4 billion to Republican party

9:30 pm - Reagan elevated to co-savior, Holy Trinity now referred to as
"The Quads"

9:45 pm - Bush reveals recent plastic surgery to look more like Reagan

10:00 pm - Chaney runs into Ron Reagan, Jr. Tells him to go fuck himself

10:15 pm - Recall of troops from accidental invasion of South Korea
(Bush: "Damn, the SOUTH is our ally. My bad.")

10:30 pm - Burning at the stake of thirteen-year-old Jenny Williams who
had an illegal abortion after being raped by her cousin

10:45 pm - Dancing around the golden calf

11:00 pm - Stoning of the partner of the first homosexual

11:15 pm - New forestry policy presented by Weyerhaeuser

11:45 pm - Thanking God for His wisdom in choosing Bush as president

12:00 pm - Closing prayers (lasting until 2:00 am)

2:00 am - Hookers arrive for all delegates

[jsw]

"Thomas Fulery, Esq." <***@ivgate.omahug.org> writes:

I'm gonna tell the Pubs that you posted this. ;-)

Post by Thomas Fulery, Esq.
Republican National Convention Schedule: Revised, August 2004
6:00 pm - Opening prayer

[bobbitt]

LOL

Post by Thomas Fulery, Esq.
2:00 am - Hookers arrive for all delegates

ROFL !!

Good day JSW